In my
previous blog post, I mentioned that one of the reasons why I struggled with the
idea of starting up a women’s cell group was because I often found that
women’s groups were shallow, overly emotional, clicky and that too many women
gossiped or whined about their husbands, kids or other stuff in their
lives. Yet, I knew that God was calling
me to lead women and that He wanted me to shepherd them in such a ways as to
promote positive, healthy community.
In order to do this, I needed some guidelines for the group. The first few weeks that we met I really stressed
these guidelines and I have found that the group really embraced them and has
matured and grown spiritually as a result of them.
Cell Sharing Guidelines:
· When sharing, remember to take no more than a few minutes so that
each person has a chance to share. Part
of being humble and respectful is listening to and encouraging each other.
· Use cell time as an opportunity to really listen and encourage one
another.
· Please remember the importance of confidentiality. Cell needs to be a safe place where we can
come together and share our strengths and weaknesses and bear one another"s
burdens without judgment or criticism.
· Negative talk does not belong in
cell. Cell is not a place for
husband-bashing, friend-bashing, mother-in-law bashing, church-bashing or even
bashing one another.
· The focus of cell should be on our OWN
walk with Jesus, but often we are more intent on fixing our spouse, our
friends, our co-workers, etc. We need to
allow the Holy Spirit to do the fixing in others and use this time at cell to
concentrate on our own inner healing and our own relationship with God.
· Cell is not an opportunity for you to gossip and speak in a
negative way about others including your spouse or children. You can
share about a hurt you have experienced, abuse, etc. but no names please.
God holds us accountable for our own reactions, our forgiveness, holding
offence, etc.
· Sharing about someone, when the act of
sharing it is not part of the solution to that person's problem, is gossip.
· Prayer is the most important element of our time together! It is through prayer that we build our
relationship with God and He changes us on the inside. Pray
specifically for EACH person in your group.
Proverbs8:13 The Lord hates pride, arrogance, evil behavior and perverse
speech.
Leviticus 19:16 You shall not go about as a talebearer among
your people.
I Timothy 5:13 They go around from house to house; and not
merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper
to mention
Psalm 101:5 Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy.
Take a look
at the following inappropriate sharing situations. Then read what would be a more appropriate way to share the same request.
1.
Inappropriate: The other day, I saw Joey
at the liquor mart again. I really think
that she is staring to drink more now that her husband had the affair. I think we should pray for them.
Appropriate: I have a friend who is going through a really
rough time and I think that maybe she is starting to act out in unhealthy
ways. Can we please pray that God would
show me how I can be a good friend to her through all of this?
2.
Inappropriate: My husband never helps
around the house, I am always stuck with all the housework and cooking and he
just sits around and watches TV. Can you
please pray that he starts to help some more.
Appropriate: I’m having some trouble seeing eye to eye
with my husband on sharing the workload around the house. Can you please pray that we can come to an
agreement and that I would find a kind and loving way to talk to him about it?
3.
Inappropriate: My sister-in-law always
wants to plan the Thanksgiving gathering when it least suits our family. I’m so frustrated with her; she always has to
control the family, everything always has to be about her. Can you pray that
she will listen to my side of the story?
Appropriate: Over the last few years I have felt
overlooked when planning the family Thanksgiving Gathering. It’s really starting to bother me, please
pray that I would figure out why this bothers me so much and be able to show
kindness and love to the rest of the family in spite of being mistreated.
4.
Inappropriate: The kids are always
fighting and never listen to me. I have
tried time-outs, I have tried grounded them from TV but I get no respect. They just do whatever they want and it’s
driving me nuts! Please pray that they
would stop already and show me the respect that I deserve
Appropriate: I am finding that I’m getting angry and
frustrated with the kids a lot lately. I
need prayer in figuring out what boundaries to set with the kids and what
consequences I need to set up for their bad behaviour. Please pray that God would show me ways to do
this and that I would stick to the plan.
5.
Inappropriate: There is a lady at work, Sally
that is driving me crazy, she never gets her work done, she just talks on the
phone all day and surfs the internet and then I have to finish my work and her
work or my boss gets mad. Please pray
that she starts to pull her weight and the boss starts to see what is really
going on.
Appropriate: I am struggling with a co-worker that isn’t
pulling her weight. I need prayer in
knowing whether or not I should talk to her about it or talk to the boss. This situation is putting me under a lot of
stress so please pray that I will be able to work and getting it resolved.
