Cultivating Healthy Identity (self-esteem) Part 3/4

Pride, Low Self-Esteem and Hearing God: Part Three of Four  

 

Our society promotes false self-esteem based on SELF, it’s humanistic and disgusting. It doesn’t emphasize the REAL REASON why we need it.  We need a healthy identity (self-esteem) for the purpose of HIS KINGDOM, not for SELF-GRATIFICATION.  Our culture makes it all about “me, myself and I”.  It’s selfish and sickening.  It’s rooted in pride! 

Today’s self-help culture tries to promote positive self-esteem apart from God; it has turned positive self-worth into a god or an idol.  It has become self-glorifying, self-gratifying and self-seeking and is based on self-determination.  Where is God in that???  Be careful if you read self-help books, even Christian literature, especially Christian inspirational literature, they are laced with SELF. 

The fitness, exercise and diet plans of today’s culture also promote self-glorifying, self-gratifying and self-seeking strategies…even the Christian ones!!!  If you struggle with body image or overeating or struggle with exercise problems (either too much or too little) or if you are obsessed with your weight – you need to throw out all those books and go to an Encounter God Retreat (even a re-encounter) and/or book a personal ministry session! 

Healthy self-esteem means that I accept who I am, I am comfortable knowing that I don’t have all the answers, I am free to rely on others and I have a healthy dependency on God because I understand that  I am not perfect and I need Him.  The goal isn’t being positive about yourself but HEALTHY identity, there is a BIG difference. You can be the most positive person on the planet and still have an unhealthy self-worth.

Illustration: a man was driving a train down a track when a radio call came in that the bridge down the way was washed out.  The train was doomed for there was not enough track between the train and the washed out bridge to make a complete stop.  No matter how positive the man is, the train is still doomed to destruction.  Being positive isn’t going to help one bit.  The man needs to do the healthy thing and jump off the train.  He might break his leg but at least he won’t die.  

Characteristics of Healthy Self-Esteem

• Feel at ease about your strengths and weaknesses
• OK giving and receiving compliments
• Open to criticism and comfortable admitting mistakes (not tied to having to be perfect)
• At peace with oneself
• Congruency between what you say and what you do
• Open to new ideas, experiences, possibilities in life
• Not intimidated by feelings of anxiety or insecurity
• Can laugh at oneself
• Trusts others
• Able to step out even when you feel uncertain and incompetent
• Confidence that you can accomplish a task
• Confident in knowing your strengths and weaknesses
• Sense of self-worth
• Self-respect including how you treat your body
• Being honest with yourself both in self-talk and with others
• Understanding what healthy relationships are and what it means to love and be loved

 

How do we cultivate healthy self-esteem? 

 

We need a stronger alliance with Christ so that we can see ourselves the way He sees us.  When we base our identity on Christ and His love for us and not on our culture then we will find true security, no matter how the world sees us.  It is then that God can guide us in carrying for our bodies (including healthy diet and exercise plans). Then we can agree with the Psalmist and say: I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (139:14, ESV)

Identity is the core of self-esteem, if our identity is in Jesus we will grow in confidence and obedience because we know how He sees us.  We’ll see that He loves us and we’ll grow in trusting and believing what He has to say. If we remain filled with pride and low self-esteem then we will struggle to receive His truth and love for us.  We need to experience the transforming power of God within us and we need to experience loving others and receiving their love for us.

The only way we can truly master pride + low self-esteem is by knowing Jesus.  The more we press into Him through seeking, praying and obedience, the greater our victories. We become overcomers because He has overcome for us.  

Next blog post - practical tips for growing healthy identity (self-esteem) and how this all affects hearing God.