God's Love Sometimes Says, "No"

Christians love to talk about their love for God.  Have you ever noticed how we tend to do that – we take our relationship with Him and we make it all about us.  We focus on our needs, our abilities, our service or our love for Him.  It’s like we think He can’t live without us…but today we’re going to focus on HIM, on His love for us and what that actually looks like…you may be surprised what He shows you. 

It is common for Christians to say, “God loves you”? But what does this really mean.  We know from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that love is patient, it’s kind, it doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it is not proud, rude or self-seeking.  Love is also not easily angered, it doesn’t keep a record of wrongs and it doesn’t delight in evil.  Yet love is so much more than this, sometimes love says “no”. 

As a parent, I know this is true.  Let’s say a child wants to eat junk food all the time, chocolate bars for breakfast, chips and pop for lunch, licorice and Slurpee’s for supper…what would a loving parent do?  Of course, a loving parent would say “no” to those unhealthy foods and teach this child the importance of a well-balanced diet.  A good parent would teach their child that vegetables are our friends, that junk food is OK only in moderation and the meaning of the phrase, “that’s a sometimes food”.  The same is true for toys, clothing, iPhones and internet time…a loving parent would not give a child everything they ask for! A loving God also would not give His children everything they ask! God’s love sometimes says “no”!

We see this illustrated in the life of David.  In 1 Samuel 7:1-3 we find David desiring to build a temple for God, a house for the Lord.  Nathan the prophet even agreed.  David’s request was a good thing!  It wasn’t selfish, it wasn’t sinful, it was supposed to be FOR GOD…but notice how neither of them inquired of the Lord. We’ll get back to that later. The Lord had given David rest from battle and his surrounding enemies so doesn’t it make sense that now that David’s life had settled down a bit he could start building a temple for the Lord? David’s desire was good; it bothered David that he lived in a palace but the ark was in a tent – and it should have!

1 Chronicles 17: 3-4  ³That night the word of God came to Nathan, saying:  ⁴“Go and tell my servant David, ‘This is what the LORD says: You are not the one to build me a house to dwell in.

God says NO to David.  It’s pretty plain in verse 4 – “You are NOT the one to build Me a house to dwell in.” David had this great plan to build a house for the Lord and God says no.  Does this make sense?  How can God do this?  Didn’t God give David rest on all sides? Didn’t God make David prosperous and successful…isn’t the building of the temple a logical conclusion to David’s life?

Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Who are we to tell the Lord what’s logical and what’s not…God had different plans for David. In 1 Chronicles 17:7-14 we see those plans unfold.  God wanted to build a house for David, not a literal house but a family line that would ultimately lead to the promised Messiah. Whoa…God wanted something that far surpassed what David wanted to do, God was thinking “big picture”.  God promises David an eternal throne through Jesus Christ.  God will not let David build him a house; rather he will build David a house, a ruling dynasty.  According to 1 Kings 5:3, David was not able to build the temple because of the warfare and bloodshed with his enemies throughout his life. At this point, a temple does not fit into God’s plans for Israel; it is not given to David to build. 

Notice how many times God speaks using the word “I” in this passage of scripture (1 Chron. 17:7-14) this is not about David, it’s about God. Notice who is doing the building in verse ten - it’s not David, its God. In our North American culture we have forgotten that God is supposed to take the lead and be the center of all we do.  Instead we try to call the shots and do all the work and as a result we have stagnant, apathetic churches, homes and marriages and are raising kids who will end up leaving the church. It doesn’t have to be that way!  We can do something about this. 

Initiatives must lie with God.  This is why Jesus must be functional Lord of our lives, not just a figurehead.  This is why I believe so strongly in listening prayer (inquiring of the Lord) – so God can tell me what He wants and then I obey.  God chose David for leadership and to conquer the land, to unite the people and secure the liveliness of the nation – not to build the temple. God’s ways are different than ours because He has a different perspective then we have.  He can see the end and the beginning at the SAME time. God is working to build His Heavenly Kingdom and has overall purposes that we can’t even dream of.  We can only see tiny glimpses of His work. Why did God promise to build a family line through David – was it because David was someone special?  Was it because David had a good desire to build the temple? NO! God promised David and eternal throne because God wanted to save humanity from their sin. God wanted to redeem His people, He wants His name to be magnified, not our names. 

We need God’s perspective on our lives so that we can accept when God says ‘NO’.  Take a moment and ask the Lord to show you a few things:

1.       Ask God to show you what your purpose is.  Why did He place you on planet earth at this time in history?  Where are you supposed to be putting in your time and energy? 

2.       What are some intermediate steps that you must take in order to fulfill that purpose?

3.       What areas of your character need refining in order for you to fulfill that purpose?

4.       Is there something that God is saying “no” to so that you can fulfill that purpose?  Are you willing to submit to Him in spite of this?