I Don't Struggle With a BAD Attitude!!!

As women, if we are going to be really honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that at times we have BAD ATTITUDES.  We can get grumpy or moody, especially when we are tired or when it's PMS time.  Those attitudes are often easy to recognize in others.  I'm sure you have all experienced having a lady walk through the door and her mood is written all over her, even though she hasn't said a word.  Yet those are not the attitudes that I'm talking about.  I'm talking about about attitudes that are a lot more subtle - they maybe even have become your identity...       

1.     I achieved/accomplished...

2.     I deserve...                 

3.     I need....                          

4.     I must promote myself...

5.     I have to be strong/I am strong...

6.     I must fight for myself, I must protect myself...

7.     I am worthless, stupid, good for nothing...

8.     I can't do anything right, I don't deserve…

9.     I made a fool of myself, I failed, I suck...

10.   I did better than ..., I am not as good as ..

If we were to be completely honest with ourselves, we would have to agree that we struggle with many of the attitudes listed above.  When I asked a group of women which attitudes they saw the most in other women the answer was very clear - #2,7,10 came up as clear winners!    

Why do so many women struggle with these attitudes?  It's because our hearts are sinful and naturally we are all selfish.  You heard me right!  Selfish!  

 So what does it mean to be selfish.  Often when we think of selfishness we think of little kids who are fighting over a toy.  We see this sort of behaviour in our children and we work at teaching them the importance of placing other people's interests ahead of our own.  We teach cooperation but rarely do we get to the heart issues.  When the heart issues aren't dealt with the selfishness just begins to look different as we get older, but it's still there.   Let's go over the list above again, but now with different eyes.

1.     I achieved/I accomplished... is actually self-fulfillment

2.     I deserve...  is actually self-gratification                 

3.     I need.... is actually self-pleasure                          

4.     I must promote myself...  is actually self-advancement

5.     I have to be strong/I am strong...is actually self-reliance

6.     I must fight for myself/I must protect myself...is self-preservation

7.     I am worthless/stupid/good for nothing...is actually self-hate

8.     I can't do anything right/I don't deserve…is actually self-condemnation

9.     I made a fool of myself/I failed/I suck...is actually self-criticism

10.   I did better than/I am not as good as...is actually self-comparison

When we struggle with these attitudes, we are actually struggling with selfishness.  God desires for us to die to self so that we can be true disciples, fruitful in ministry!  

John 12:24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

Matthew 16:24-25 ...If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

In order to become fruitful disciples of Christ, true disciples of Christ, Jesus calls us to die to self.  This means that we are to put aside our selfish ways, including the attitudes listed above.  It's a lot harder than you may think.  For many of us, these attitudes have been our default ways of thinking and reacting since we were children.  These attitudes have been coping mechanisms for us, they are so much a part of us that we don't even know who we are without them.  They have become our identity   But without them, we will be more like Christ, we will be more godly, and we will begin to experience authentic, genuine fellowship with other women.  It's worth the effort!  AND, it's what God is calling us to do!  How do we do this?  Follow the steps below...

Practical Application:

1. Ask the Lord to show you 2-3 of the attitudes listed above that you need to deal with today.  

2. Write a prayer of confession to the Lord, confessing these attitudes as selfishness and sin.

3. Ask the Lord to show you how He has been faithful to you, even though you have struggled in these areas.  

4. Write a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord.  Thank Him for His forgiveness, thank Him for showing you the truth so that you can grow and mature into a fruitful disciple. 

Next Steps:

1. Each time these attitudes come up, confess them as sin.

2. Pray regularly for God to change you!  You can't change on your own!

3. Obey each step that He shows you on this journey of learning to die to self!  

Special Thanks to Grace Fast for her contributions to this blog post.