What is Love?

When you read John 13-16 did you notice how many times John uses the word LOVE or LOVED? I counted them – 29x!  Plus more if you go into John 17! This passage is Christ’s FAREWELL DISCOURSE.  He is warning them of coming persecution and He is giving them a strategy to make sure that they don’t fall away.  I think we should listen to what He is saying here! 

Think about the importance of LOVE in your life:

• Parenting – you can teach a kid to behave, to be hard working, to obey, to be nice to people, to be kind to their sister/brother but without LOVE it is nothing!
• Marriage – you can buy the groceries and cook meals for your husband, you can wash his clothes, fold them and put them away, you can complement him, respect him and take care of all his needs but without LOVE it is nothing!
• God – you can read the Bible, go to church, pray regularly, serve in the church, go to cell but without LOVE it is nothing! 

You can’t fake love, you can’t mechanically just start loving God or people more.

There are lots of self-help books, even Christian ones, that try to help us in this department.  They teach us that:

• If you do this _____________you’ll respect your husband more and he will feel more loved and you will have a better marriage.
• If you do this _____________your kids will obey you and turn out to be good citizens and love you more.
• If you do this _____________in your relationship with God you will be a better Christian and love God more.

SUMMARY – if YOU change YOUR behavior (“do” something) then you will see the change you want (in you or others).

Psychology shows us that often these approaches work; I have seen many relationships grow by doing these things, often because the stuff that we are “doing” is based on Godly principles (honesty, respect, kindness, etc.).  We stop sinning and choose to obey the Word.

It’s great to grow strong in your marriage, in your parenting and in your relationship with God but I don’t want a strong marriage…I want a SUPERNATURAL marriage, I want to be a  SUPERNATURAL parent, and have a SUPERNATURAL relationship with God.

The problem with these approaches is that they all about YOU changing YOUR behavior to make things better– it’s all SELF-FOCUSED.

We want to be GOD-FOCUSED!

We can’t just be satisfied with scratching the surface in these areas, we must go deeper. We can’t create LOVE based on “doing” this or that. There is a better way…we’ll get to that soon.  

Question:  WHAT IS LOVE?

• Psychology tells us that love is a force of nature i.e.) you cannot control love.
• The dictionary says love is an intense feeling of deep affection or a feeling of deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone i.e.) I love Mark (my husband).
• Some say love is having a great interest in something i.e.) He loves football.
• Some say it’s something you find pleasure in i.e.) I love chocolate.
• The bible says God is love (1 John 4:8), let’s look a bit closer at what today’s passage teaches us about love.

John 13:1-5 – Jesus showed the full extent of His love by washing His disciples feet.

Washing the disciples feet was MORE than an act of SERVICE, it was an act of LOVE!  When we love others, serving will come naturally. You can serve without loving but you can’t love without serving. This is what God Himself is like, He washes feet, even the feet of the one who will betray Him – what love!!!

John 14:15, 21, 23 ,24 – obedience

The love that Jesus is speaking of is not simply a feeling. It is clear to see here a link between love and obedience. The obedience that Jesus is referring to is acting in accordance with His teaching. His teaching is not just interesting thoughts about God and the world. To obey His teaching means that we adopt God's pattern of life. But the condition for such obedience is LOVE for Jesus. The commands of Jesus are not a set of rules like a traffic code; they are a description of a pattern of life that reflects God's own life transposed into human circumstances. Jesus has modeled this sort of life—only doing what He sees the Father doing and only speaking what He hears from the Father. The same pattern is to be true of the disciple!  

Most people stop here – they wrongfully conclude that as long as you are serving and obeying you are doing OK in the LOVE area.  YES – All Christians must serve and obey, I’m not saying you shouldn't do these things.  But these things aren't a FULL test of your love…because you can do these things without LOVING Him. I’m talking about having your LOVE FOR HIM drive your service and your obedience. If you think you love Him merely because you serve and obey Him then this goes back to being all about “DOING” again…, its’ SELF FOCUSED.  We want to be GOD-FOCUSED!

Let’s look at two more passages of Scripture and then make a conclusion:

John 13:34 – Love one another as I have loved you

In this passage Jesus is commanding them to love one another as He has loved them.  We need God’s love in us to do this! The key to this command is that it is in keeping with Christ’s  love for them. Think about this for a minute – He’s saying something profound about LOVE!

 John 15:9 – as the Father has loved me, so I have loved you…remain in my love

Jesus love for you = the Fathers love for Jesus!  That’s a LOT of love! He asks us to remain in this love – to KEEP OURSELVES in this LOVE!  Remain means to abide, continue, to not depart from His love.  Once again, Jesus is saying something profound about LOVE.

Concluding Question:  HOW DO WE GET THIS LOVE IN US?

PRINCIPLE:  You can only love others as much as you feel LOVED by God

1 John 4:19 We love because He first loved us.  (NIV)

You are absolutely and completely loved by God and your role in life is to receive that love, return it to Him and pass it on to everyone around you

Mark 12:30-31 clearly teaches that the Christian's number one priority in life is to LOVE GOD and then to LOVE OTHERS.  Our secular culture has a distorted view of love because they have tired to capture love without seeking out its ORIGIN - GOD!

1 John 4:8 God is love

1 John 4:19 We love because He first loved us.  (NIV)

God is a lover, He continually loves us!  Our relationship with God is to be sustained by His love!  The problem is that many of us spend all our time and energy trying to love Him as best we can instead of stopping to let Him love us.  When we stop and let Him love us then we have more love to give back to Him and others!  

Jude 21 Keep yourself in the love of God 

We are to be continually filled with His love for us.  His perfect love comes into us and we give it back to Him, that’s the way we are to love.  It is a glorious cycle – God takes the initiative and loves us, and we return that love to Him and pass it on to others (spouse, kids, friends, enemies).  Yes, we OBEY and SERVE out of a heart of LOVE because He LOVES us and we LOVE HIM back.  When we are filled with God’s love then serving and obeying come naturally.  To love God MORE, we must begin to FEEL HIS LOVE FOR US MORE (His love for us never changes, it never increases or decreases, it is constantly the same, it’s just our ability to FEEL His love that changes)

Love is the currency of Heaven!  We must make a determined decision to pursue being FILLED with God’s LOVE as a #1 priority in our lives.

Application: 

1. Our relationship with God is to be sustained by His love.  The problem is that many of us spend all our time and energy tying to love Him as best we can instead of stopping to let Him love us.  We are to be filled continually with His love for us and give it back to Him and to others.  Mediate on this for a while, what does God want to say to you about your love relationship with Him?   
2. You are absolutely and completely loved by God.  Love is the currency of Heaven.  Jesus loves you in the way that the Father loves Him.   Ask the Lord to show you what it means for you to keep yourself in the love of God.  How will this transform your relationship with Him?
3. Write out a prayer asking for a supernatural enabling to receive God’s love for you and to return that love back to Him and to others. Confess, as necessary.  Then, write out a declaration that speaks the truth about how the Father feels about you: 

Example:  “Jesus, please enable me to receive more fully Your love for me.  I confess that I have not believed fully that You love me and I have not received this love.  I want this to change.  I want to feel Your love and have that love change our relationship.  I ask You to supernaturally enlarge my capacity to feel Your love.  I declare that I am Your beloved, Your favorite one. I am a disciple whom You love. Your delight is in me. You feel about me as the Father feels about You. I belong to You and You are mine. I am loved by You and I love you therefore I am successful.”