The Blame Game

We love to take responsibility when things go well but often find it hard to take responsibility when things are not going well

Example:  A test in school.  You do well on the test:   well that’s because you studied or because you are smart or were well-prepared.  You do poorly on a test:  that’s the teacher’s fault, she put trick  questions on the test, or you had a bad sleep last night or couldn't concentrate

When we share things about our lives, we tend to tell them in a way that places us in the best possible light but when things go wrong, we often blame other people.  We blame our spouse, our parents, our neighbors, the government, the media…the list is endless.  But blaming gets us no where. By blaming others we transfer power to them and paralyze ourselves.  Blame teaches us to wait for them to change, meanwhile we are helpless.  When we believe that our problems are caused by other people then we are stuck just sitting around waiting for other people to fix our problems.  Blaming reduces the chance of making successful changes.  When a problem arises in your relationships, are you quick to blame or do you carefully consider how you may be contributing to the problem? Figuring out what’s your part does not come easy but it is essential to for personal growth.  Taking responsibility instead of blaming others actually strengthens your position; it doesn't weaken it, but rather it puts you in the driver’s seat.  You can now do something about the problem. 

Some women come to cell and constantly share and ask for prayer for their husbands.  Let’s assume your husband is angry, irresponsible, inattentive, and self-centered.  You will not grow if all you do is react to his sins and spend your time trying to fix him.  Instead, I would suggest that you become more deeply concerned about your own issues, than your husbands.  You are not responsible to God for your husband’s behaviors and attitudes – you are only responsible to God for your own behaviors and attitudes.  You cannot fix your spouse so come to cell to work on yourself.  You don’t have the power to change your spouse. The best possible thing that you can do for your marriage is to work on yourself!!!