Are Women Inferior to Men?

I remember when I was in the fourth grade, our neighbours had just bought a dirt bike and I wanted to take a turn riding it.  My older brother got to go for a ride but the neighbours didn't let me because I was a girl.  Dirt bikes were for boys.  Dolls were for girls.  That very night I prayed that I would wake up the next morning and be a boy.  When I woke up I checked and was disappointed to find that I was still a girl.  This incident ticked me off – I felt an overwhelming sense inequality, it was unfair that being a girl meant that that I couldn't ride a dirt bike.   

Growing up, I was taught that women were inferior beings.  Now no one actually said these words but I just knew it because of how we were treated in the church.  Women were not allowed to have leadership roles in church; they were not allowed to preach or teach and they could only lead women’s groups or teach the children in Sunday school.  I saw incredible women – doctors, lawyers and businesswomen who were unable to use their gifts in the church because they were women.  This bothered me because this wasn't what I saw in from Jesus when I read the Gospels. 

Jesus went out of His way to challenge the cultural bias in Jewish society.  In His day women were considered property, they were viewed as ignorant, evil and repulsively immoral.  They even segregated women from men in the synagogue.  They were not allowed to be taught from the Scriptures and were only valued for their subservient role as wives and mothers.  Basically women were inferior servants and their place was in the field, at the well and in the kitchen.  If they ever left their houses they were to be veiled and were not allowed to even talk to men in public or even testify in a court of law.  It was in this context that Jesus came preaching to and accepting women.

We forget how dramatic it was for Jesus to talk to the Samaritan woman at the well because we forget that it was inappropriate for a man to speak to a woman in public!  The Gospels are full of Christ’s interaction with women.  Consider Mary of Bethany who sat at His feet listening to His teaching.  Women weren't considered worthy of learning but Jesus sat and taught her along with the men.  It is clear that Christ had come to call the women too, not just the men, to be His disciples.  Recall the sinful woman who anointed Jesus feet with perfume.  How about the woman who was caught in adultery?  The Jews were going to stone her but Christ showed them how the oppression of women grieved the Father’s heart.  Then there was the bleeding woman who Jesus healed, and Mary Magdalene – who was the first one to see the resurrected Christ. 

First of all I want to say that I am not denying that there are difference between men and women.  I am not calling women to become radical feminists.  In fact, radical feminism has actually hurt women because it has been rooted in pride, rebellion, getting even and using force and control to dominate men – none of which are fruits of the Spirit.  I am also not asking women to revolt against a chauvinistic husband.  1 Peter 3 encourages women to use exemplary character to win over their husbands.  Radical feminism teaches otherwise and is not biblical.  My desire is for you to act in a godly way in your marriage and to fulfill your purpose in His Kingdom.    

Genesis 1-4

So now let’s go to our Bible passage for today.  Many people read the first few chapters of Genesis and use them to support the notion that women are inferior to men.   This is not true!  God did not create Eve to be Adam’s slave girl, running around after him and doing whatever he wished.  God created Eve in complete equality with Adam.  She had full access to God and all the Kingdom benefits.  She was given dominion over the earth and the creatures, right along with Adam.  God does not look at women as inferior.  He created women with unique callings, just like men.  For many women this will include being a wife and mother.  I personally, am thankful that I am a woman and that I could birth two beautiful children into the world.  Delivering those babies is and will continue to be my greatest accomplishment in life.  I can’t believe my body actually did that.  I love supporting and loving my husband and caring for my family.  Family is extremely important to me and I take my role as mother and wife very seriously and you should too! 

Genesis 2:18  The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (NIV)

We often misread the Biblical account of creation in which Adam is provided with a “helper” (Gen. 2:18).  Many different versions use many different words here but the Hebrew word is “ezer” which is translated help meet, companion or counterpart.  The word denotes intimacy and partnership and not that man is to dictate and that woman doesn't get a say or can’t make a decision or choice.  God had already said it wasn't good for man to be alone (v. 18) acknowledging that Adam was in an inferior position without a companion.  The ideal marriage is a man and a woman helping each other!  .  But it goes both ways.  

I have seen many marriages where the husband controls and dominates the wife (male making himself superior to female) but unfortunately I have seen many MORE marriages where the wife actually controls and manipulates the husband (female making herself superior to male).  Both are sin and not God’s ideal for marriage.  A good question to ask yourself when looking at your own marriage is this – who makes all the decisions?  Decisions should be made together.  Now I’m not talking about deciding together which brand of toilet paper to buy or what brand of flour to use but I am talking about deciding together how money is spent, what to do on a Sunday afternoon, where to go on vacation or what activities you are involved in,etc.  No one is to be passive in marriage and no one is to dominate the other!  

Genesis 1:28 ²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

After God created Eve she was to be a co-laborer with Adam.  She was not to be Adam’s servant, they were to work together!  They were told to rule over creation together (Gen. 1:28).  The command to rule was not directed only to Adam but Eve was also commissioned with divine authority.  The call to exercise godly leadership and righteous authority is programmed into the spiritual DNA of all women.  Yet so many Christians today believe that God does not offer women a place of spiritual influence.  So many women sit around at home waiting for their husbands to take “headship” when God expects them to lead – at least then there is some spiritual authority in the home and the children will get biblical training!  Yet this type of leadership isn't controlling or demanding, often it’s leading by example and it is non-threatening.  It means that you lead by getting up early and having your devotions, you lead by volunteering at church, you lead by going to prayer summits or having devotions with the kids.  This type of leadership is often seen and not heard, although God may ask you to vocalize things from time to time. 

Genesis 2:23-24 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for he was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Here we find Adam acknowledging that they are made of the same stuff.  He had just named all the animals and found no match for himself.  In these verses we find Adam recognizing that Eve is his co-equal, a perfect and desirable mate.  The passage then states that the two become one flesh (Gen. 2:24).  This union is the most important biblical theme relating to marriage in scripture.  The uniqueness of holy matrimony is that a man and a woman can unite in physical and spiritual harmony that supersedes that which can be achieved in any other human relationship. 

Marriage is not about who is in control or who serves whom.  It is about becoming one.  It’s about BOTH people giving up control and serving each other. 

So let’s get personal.  If your husband is controlling and dominating, what are you to do about it?  The first step is to recognize it!  Then you should set good, biblical boundaries (the boundaries course is a great place to learn about this).  Finally, pray and ask the Lord to show you the specifics for your situation, remembering that your godly character is critical in the home. 

For those of you who struggle being controlling wives, you too need to recognize this as sin.  Then you need to start serving your husband – serve, serve, serve!  Without expecting him to serve you back.  And, shut your mouths and stop nagging him and telling him what to do all the time.  Let him make a few decisions – what restaurant to go to, what movie to rent, etc.  Start small and then pray that God would free you of the bondage that you are in. 

Ladies, these truths have the ability to transform your marriage!  But it also has the ability to transform the church.  This means that women are not second class citizens in God’s Kingdom.  It means that God has intended you to take your full place in His Kingdom.  I believe that women are an under-utilized resource in the Kingdom.  

Today, God is calling you to rise up.  He is looking for women who are prophets, teachers, apostles, shepherds and evangelists to work in His Kingdom.  God wants women who are not content to simply work in the nursery (nothing against this but the church has lost its power by limiting women’s gifts to domestic functions).   It is time for women to the importance of being workers in the Kingdom and rise up and step into their full potential as daughters of the King. 

This doesn't mean that you scrap all your domestic duties in the home and neglect your husband and children.  We are all called to be servants and the primary place we serve is in the home (this goes for men too).  But women can also evangelize, prophecy, preach, disciple and lead.  They can be prayer ministers bringing emotional healing to others; they can heal the sick, cast out demons, feed the poor and transform nations for Christ.  Yes, you too can be part of this!  Don’t believe the lie that you can’t work in God’s Kingdom, don’t believe the lie that you are “stuck” at home raising a family.  Don’t wait until your kids are grown up, model this to them NOW! 

You are an important part of His Kingdom as a minister.  Maybe you never knew that God is calling you to more than being good wife and mother.  Maybe you didn't realize that He has a role for you to play in the evangelization of the world.  I’m here to tell you God desires to empower you for ministry in your home and beyond!  

Is Food an Idol in Your Life?

It is prayer and fasting month at Southland Church and so I'm dedicating this blog post to talking about a few important things pertaining to fasting.

Warnings about Fasting

Be careful that your fasting doesn't become about dieting

• If you struggle with an eating disorder then you should NOT fast food! 

Legalism in fasting/spiritual pride

• We can NOT judge others and even judge ourselves by our level of fasting or any other spiritual discipline.
• Avoid comparing what you are fasting with what others are fasting
• We do not fast to gain approval from God but rather to grow in relationship with God. 
• Fasting isn't about earning salvation or getting God to owe us something.

Fasting must be accompanied by bible reading and prayer or it’s just a diet.

Common Reasons People Avoid Fasting

Social pressures - I have to still cook for my kids, I got invited out…

• Try to coordinate fasting with the rest of your family, if possible
• Don’t worry about cooking fancy meals for your family if you are fasting. 
• If your husband struggles with you fasting then prayerfully consider how to structure your fast so it isn’t a stumbling block for him. 
• Prayerfully consider what to do if you get invited out

Physical weakness and side effects – I get tired and headachy, I get ill, and I get grouchy…

• Ps. 109:24 – David said, "my knees are weak from fasting"
• Headaches = detoxification, very healthy for your body
• Loss of energy is normal
• As fasting becomes a lifestyle, you will get used to this
• Don’t get dehydrated! 

My body needs regular food…it’s unhealthy to skip meals

• You stomach and body will learn to adjust the more you fast
• Ignore hunger pains, they are not true hunger but rather from habit
• Medical science says fasting is actually good for your body

I can’t concentrate or focus on anything, I have to work, I have too much stuff to get done

• mental alertness is often affected = decreased productivity
• You may feel tired, let God refine your schedule this month
• This is temporary, think about the permanent growth in your walk with God instead

I have a medical condition so I can’t fast…

• This is legitimate
• If you have a medical condition  or if you are pregnant or nursing, then you need to get creative with your fasts - try fasting desserts, junk food, media, etc.
• Talk to your doctor if you are unsure about your medial condition and fasting

I need media in order to survive…

• No you don’t
• Be creative, avoid entertainment/social media
• business related media can be OK

I don’t get anything out of my fast

• Are you eating spiritual food or just avoiding physical food?  Scripture + Prayer is essential!!!
• Is God trying to teach you about endurance and faithfulness?
• Are you trying to fast away something that is a consequence of a sinful choice?
• Are you fasting for something that is aligned with God’s will?
• Is there an area of disobedience that is keeping you from receiving your answer?
• Are you trying to earn an answer to prayer?
• Maybe you are not fasting often enough?

I don’t understand how not eating brings me closer to God?

• Biblical fasting always focuses on God and should draw us closer to God
• It should grow us into a deeper relationship  with God
• Fasting is obedience to God, obedience brings us closer to God
• You don’t have to understand it to do it
• Fasting requires FAITH!

Why Fast?  A FEW of the Purposes for Fasting…

1. To experience more of God’s love and presence (Matt. 9:14-15).  

Jesus told the disciples that when He would be taken away from them, then they should fast.  We fast for more of His presence in our lives because He is not here right now, He is in Heaven and we desire greater intimacy with Him.

2. To grow in humility (Psalm 35:13) 

When we fast our bodies are tired, our minds get spacey, our strength is gone, our capacities are not in full operation, easy tasks become difficult.  This is humbling. 

3. To reveal areas where the flesh has control of our lives (Matt. 26:41) 

We are so used to satisfying our natural cravings we have been deceived into letting our flesh dominate our spirits.  Fasting is a temporary way to reverse this dominance; we must rely on Spirit to control the flesh.  This teaches us to deny self and is diametrically opposed to our personal selfishness.  Many false pleasures and securities are exposed, the false gods we sooth our souls with begin to show and we can then begin to deal with them. 

4. To grow in spiritual hunger (Matt. 5:6) 

Jesus releases His power and presence to us in direct proportion to the measure of our hunger for Him.  Fasting awakens our interest in God.  Spiritual hunger is when you cannot live without more so you make radical alterations in your life to pursue God more which includes rearranging your life, time, money and comforts to pursue Him more. 

5. To increase in hearing God (Acts 13:2; 14:23) 

God led the early church as they sought Him in fasting and prayer.  He directed them and told them His plans for the future. 

6. To break spiritual strongholds (Matt. 17:15-21) 

Jesus told his disciples they couldn't cure a demonized man because the demon plaguing the man could only come out through prayer and fasting.   You or a loved one may be struggling with a spiritual stronghold and fasting may be the spiritual weapon necessary to break this bondage. 

7. To remove idols in our lives (Phil. 3:18-19)

We live in a culture that craves comfort and ease and fasting puts us in a situation where we feel yucky, we feel hungry, we feel tired, we get less done and the list goes on and on…there is nothing like fasting to reveal the selfish idols in our lives! 

But did you know that food itself is an idol in many women’s lives.  And, I’m not just talking to overweight women here, women of all shapes and sizes can struggle with food being an idol in their lives.  You can even struggle with food being an idol if you have NEVER been overweight or if you have NEVER overeaten.

Many women struggle with extremes in eating.  The obvious one is overeating, but under eating can be just as big as a problem in today’s society.   So can extreme diets that restrict calories or that restrict certain kinds of foods.  Our culture sells beauty as being thin and many women go to extremes to try to be that way showing that their physical appearance is also an idol in their lives.  Exercise can also become an idol for some, so can laziness in those who laze around all day. 

God wants us to be HEALTHY, but we have the wrong idea of what HEALTHY looks like.  We have been fooled by our culture to believe healthy = thin.  Our bodies, our appearance, food, and weight can all be idols in our lives.  God wants us to focus on being healthy and living balanced live, not being controlled by appearance, weight, food or fitness.  YES, take care of your body, but do it for the RIGHT reasons. 

When we are controlled by these things we are being controlled by something other than God.  This is not God’s desire for us! As Christian women, we are not to be controlled by the desire to be thin, the desire to be fit and strong, OR on the other side we are not to be controlled by the desire to laze around all day or the desire to eat whatever wewant…we are to be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

Phil. 3:18-19 ¹⁸For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ.¹⁹Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.

What controls us is our god, yet these gods often go unrecognized by believers today.  We don’t realize that when we overindulge in food and laze around we are really worshiping something that isn't the one, true God, we are worshiping ourselves!  The same thing occurs when we under-eat or over-exercise to be thin or overly fit. 

No one thinks that they worship food or their own body, no Christians want to worship these things, yet our appetites, our desire to eat or avoid eating, can preoccupy our schedules and plans to the point where they become one of our primary life goals.  Some think about food all the time, they eat to calm their nerves, they eat when they are afraid, anxious, happy, sad…some avoid food at all costs because the thought of gaining a pound is so scary to them.  Many of us are way more emotionally or mentally connected to food then we may realize.  It has often become a stronghold in our lives.

Indulgence in any legitimate pleasure will cause us to become spiritually dull.  Food is a legitimate pleasure.  Exercise is another example of a legitimate activity but if overdone will cause us to become spiritually dull.  Entertainment, recreation, food, exercise, and countless other hobbies can cause us to become spiritually dull if they are not kept in proper balance in our lives.  Fasting from these legitimate pleasures has the potential to transform your life spiritually!  Fasting is a brilliant strategy from God so that we can enter in to receive more of Him.

The reality is that God created legitimate things like food for our pleasure and we have used and abused them.  He gave us food as a gift and we have used it to comfort and control us.

Food is good, it is not innately evil.  We will eat in eternity!  We need discernment to keep food in its proper place in our lives so it doesn't become an object of idolatry and end up controlling us.  Fasting from legitimate pleasures can help reveal these idols in our lives, as long as we stay fasting for spiritual reasons and don’t make it about weight loss or other selfish things! 

Ladies, you have an opportunity this month to let God speak into your life and to grow you in your walk with Him.  You have the opportunity to let God show you where your focus has been on earthly things and can walk out in obedience, growing in living for Him and His Kingdom.  I would highly suggest prayerfully considering some sort of fast this month!    

Personal Reflection and Prayer Questions
1. What reasons have you used in the past to avoid fasting? Ask the Lord to speak the truth into each of these reasons and show you creative ways that you can fast.
2. Read Phil. 3:18-19.  One aspect of fasting is giving up legitimate pleasures in order to receive more of God and become more spiritually alive.  What legitimate things is God asking you to give up this prayer and fasting season?  For example; food/eating, exercise/fitness, entertainment, recreation/relaxation, hobbies, etc.  Ask the Lord to show you the specifics of what your fast should look like, including WHAT to fast from, LENGTH of fast, etc.
3. Ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to pray and fast for in the following areas.
        a. personal spiritual growth/charater growth
        b. family (lost love one, marriage, children, spouse, family decision, finances, etc.)
        c. the area where you volunteer (if you are not volunteering you can pray and fast about where God wants you to volunteer)
        d. Church Renewal at Southland and across Canada
4. Fasting is also about feeding on the Word of God and spending time in prayer.  Write a prayer of commitment to the Lord, committing to spending time with Him in the Word and in prayer as well as completing your fast.