Created Desire #4: COMPANIONSHIP

Psychologists agree that as humans we are social creatures and therefore we have needs for belonging and affection. Relationships such as friendship, romantic attachments and families help to fulfill this need for companionship and acceptance. So does being involved in a social community such as a church. It is not selfish to want a companion, in fact, it is a desire placed in you by God.

Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone (ESV)

We live in a culture where you can be in a crowd all the time and still be lonely. That was my experience when I first started attending the University of Manitoba.  I had just moved to Manitoba from Alberta and was on a campus of over 20,000 people, in classes of 300+ people, in a crowd all day long but I was so lonely, I didn’t know anyone, I had no friends, I was miserable.

We were created in such a way that loneliness breaks and bruises us. This is not God’s plan for us; we have been made to desire intimacy in relationships.  Companionship allows you to share the deepest parts of your heart with someone. Things like your hopes and dreams, your fears and failures, your feelings and your frustrations. It means you can tell someone your biggest secrets knowing that they can be trusted with them. Many women long to have a relationship with their husbands like this and when it doesn’t happen they settle for this sort of intimacy with someone else. Sometimes it’s a friend, a sister or their mother. But is this all there is to companionship?  Have we settled for a lesser form of companionship than God wants to give us?  How can we have this desire met in the way God intended?

Secrets

Who do you tell your secrets to?  God already knows the most secret aspects of your life, especially the areas where you feel unknown, unnoticed or misunderstood. He knows what you feel and what you fear – probably better than you do. Yet, He wants you to INVITE Him in to the deep parts of your heart, He won’t force Himself in. Most people hold back in this area for a few reasons.  They may have experienced times when they have shared their deepest secrets with someone, even a spouse, and found out later those secrets were betrayed so they have learned to keep them to themselves.  Or, they may have found a person that fills this need in their heart so they don’t need God to fill it.  For most women, it’s a combination of both. The problem is that we then miss out on so much in our relationship with God because Jesus has secrets of His own; He has plans, feelings and emotions that involve us. A relationship with Jesus is not one-sided. When you open your heart to Jesus and begin to have Him fill your need for companionship what you get in return is greater and greater revelation of God’s secrets.

Psalm 25:14 the secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him…

He desires to share with us what He is thinking. It’s a two way street and it happens through listening prayer.  Jesus wants to share with you the things closest to His heart, things He doesn’t even share with angels. We need to run to Jesus and not to human friends with our troubles and our joys. Running to a friend doesn’t fix the problem; it’s only putting a Band-Aid on a festering, gangrene wound.  When you bring your problems to Jesus, He is the ointment that heals and restores the wound.  This doesn't mean that you never talk to your friends about your problems, it just means that you go to God first.  

Today, God is inviting you into His very heart. God wants to talk with you about all of the things going on in your life - your joys, celebrations and even your pain.  He loves to weep with you, to laugh with you. He wants to do life with you. Let Jesus be your protector and rescuer in your deepest hours of pain. People often draw away from you in your deepest times of pain, yet Jesus draws closer – if you let Him.

Don’t settle for limiting yourself to having mere humans meet your emotional needs - your mom, your best friend, your husband – they actually can’t fulfill this need the way that God can. Let Him hold your hand, let Him walk with you through every moment of pain and all your problems, let Him be your true companion!

Hebrews 4:15-16 ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (ESV)